Tebow's Mother Warns "You Might Stick That Way"

Raul Kemp
Reporter

In a frantic phone call placed late Sunday night, Janice Tebow, mother of Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, warned her son of the dangers of over-posing. "Timothy", she said, "every time I see footage of you, dear, you are knelt down with your fist up to you forehead. If you keep doing that, honey, you're going to stick that way."

Janice has always looked out for her only son, saving him from such deformities as "permanent silly face", "t.v. crosseyedness", and "masturbation blindness". "How can my little man continue to throw the football to the other football guys if his fist is stuck to his forehead?" asked Tebow when reached for comment. "I know in sports you can hurt your arms or legs pretty bad, but he's really asking for it with all that posing."

Ever since his impressive career with the Florida Gators, Tebow has shown his religious devotion by kneeling in a prayer-like pose after national championships, Heisman trophies, wins, touchdowns, first downs, complete passes, field goals, official challenges, successful huddles, Gatorade breaks, and both before and after the singing of the Star Spangled Banner. His poor mother has spent the past six years beside herself with worry that her "special little guy" could lose it all if he gets stuck that way.

"My neighbor, Teri Mayber's son, Josh, got his finger stuck in his nose and he's stuck that way forever! How awful that must be for them", cried Ms. Tebow as she begged and pleaded with her son to "please stop posing so much, or at least change it up a bit." As every mother knows, the dangers of "sticking that way" are all around us. Her hand had to be surgically removed from young Tim's before he could attend kindergarten.

In a family press release sent out early Monday morning, Tebow responded "Oh, Mom."