Hip Three Year Old Ruins Christmas

Raul Kemp
Reporter

In a recent terrorism plot acted out on December 5, 28 preschoolers' hopes and dreams were dashed by area youngster Elijah Robbins. The St. Louis class was shattered by the outburst shortly before nap time on Monday.

"Nuh Uh, Santa Claus isn't real! He's not in this world!" exclaimed young Robbins shortly after the graham crackers had been consumed, resulting in horrified screams and chaos. Kids were hiding under desks covering their ears, closing their eyes, and crying "La La La La I can't hear you!"

Three and a half year old Penny Whilmer, classmate of the troubled Robbins, just sat in the corner, shaking. "How could anyone say such a thing? If Santa's not real, who's gonna bring Christmas?"

When reached for comment, Elija's mother Bethany Robbins responded with little remorse. "He asked if Santa was really real and we told him the truth. Were we supposed to lie to him?"

The St. Louis Board of Toddler Education will meet Thursday to determine whether this aggression should be charged as a hate crime or should be dismissed under the "Kids Say the Darndest Things" act of 1986, sponsored by long time Children's Rights activist, Bill Cosby. Until then, the case is under further investigation.