Man Starts Blog, Considers Self Writer

Raul Kemp
Reporter

Local window installer Pete Howard has entered the blogosphere with excitement and has already glossed himself a "writer". With this new internet platform, Howard has quickly started telling people about his new venture.

"It's great", says Pete, "before when I was picking up chicks, I had to tell them about my boring job. Now, I can add "writer" to that line and I automatically sound smarter and more refined. I'm totally gonna get laid."

Howard's sophomore English teacher, Mrs. Stanton, had a different response. "When I had Pete, he could barely string a complete thought together, use proper grammar, or even spell correctly. I wouldn't call him a "writer" so much, more of a guy with a laptop."

Not to be discouraged, Howard had added "writer" to his Facebook profile, bought a thesaurus, and started answering Craigslist ads in the "writing" jobs section.

"This blog is gonna be awesome", Howard says giddily. "I'm gonna reach thousands of people all over the world, and they're all gonna agree with me and encourage my opinions. I can't wait to spread my knowledge with the whole web."

So far, the blog has included posts about Pete's favorite Chili's menu items, a review of recent blockbuster "Harold and Kumar Christmas 3-D", and a list of local bartenders he would love to bang. In the future, Howard hopes to include stories about his dog, Poster, and a weekly top ten list.

When reached for comment, the internet responded, "Meh."