NBA Jealous Of NCAA

Raul Kemp
Reporter

This week, as the NCAA March Madness festivities begin, the NBA has been found sitting in a corner pouting over the lack of attention it has received. The poor league is upset that, in the midst of its playoff push, no one really gives a damn who wins between the Oklahoma Thunder and the Miami Heat.

"We're here too ya know, the NCAA isn't the only basketball around", cried the Heat, who were sniffling and wiping their eyes as the college teams got all the attention. "It's just not fair."

In an attempt to compete with March Madness, the NBA has decided to incorporate such promotions as "Big Ball Night", "February Foul-a-Thon", and "Time Out Fest", all of which have failed miserably in attempts to draw viewers away from the national tournament.

When reached for comment, the NCAA replied, "This is our time. We have 10,574 teams, and we need to see which one can end up randomly at the end. The only way to do this is to spend a month, in addition to our full season, finding out which one team is the absolute best. We can't help it if no one cares about the NBA during this time, maybe they should change their formula."

In response, the NBA cried, "It's just not fair. Who would ever watch the June Jubilee or the Tremendous Thirty? What are we supposed to do?"

The only other possible remedies appear to be either banging a Kardashian, or sending NBA players back to college to drum up interest in the asinine association. At press time, such stars as Kobe Bryant and that Lebron character have enrolled in college for the first time with hopes of drawing more attention to their lifeless league. Attempts have also been made at getting Kim Kardashian's number.