Raul Kemp
Reporter
In a statement released earlier today, Chick-Fil-A Ceo Dan Cathy has come out in defense of his company's refusal to include mayonnaise on their most popular sandwich. This stance has caused quite an uproar among the fast food community, garnering loads of customer mail and viral response.
"We live in a country that allows us to put whatever we want on our sandwiches," claims Cathy. "Our company is based on family values and conservative beliefs and mayonnaise just doesn't fit in with the way we want to run our business." The corporation has long been known for their convictions, such as being closed on Sundays, and only serving special "Chick-Fil-A Delicious Sauce" on the side.
Condiment's rights activist Suni Paxton is outraged by the fast food company's outrageous position, stating that a crispy chicken sandwich is "right where mayo should be".
"You're trying to tell me that two pieces of bread, a slab of chicken, and a pickle slice constitutes a sandwich? Everyone knows that a dry sandwich is unacceptable. Don't try to push your beliefs on me. I should have every right to slather on whichever condiment I see fit," Paxton said in her own impassioned response. She has partnered with the Coalition for the Advancement of Condiments and Other Dressings, or CACOD, to organize an nationwide strike of the once popular food chain.
"We know it may be an unpopular stance", defends Cathy, "but we feel that we have to stand behind what we believe in, and that is dry chicken."
When reached for comment, Hardees/Carl's Jr. CEO Mark Ruffeld said, "We respect everyone's right to serve or not serve whatever they like. We however believe in supporting all condiments, be they white, yellow, red, or a creamy orange mix."
At press time, Ketchup was offered for the waffle style french fries, but customers using the red sauce continue to be under close watch.
Brilliant.
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