Star Wars Fan Still Lives With Parents

Raul Kemp
Reporter

This week, The Monocle Press has discovered a lifelong Star Wars fan currently unemployed and living with his parents.  Six year old Amos Brendan has been reportedly crashing at his Mom and Dad's place and not at all ashamed of his current situation.

"It's really not that bad," defends Amos, "I get to spend all of my money on cool Star Wars toys, I watch Star Wars every day, and I get a free place to live. What's not to love? I have a whole collection, gross girls leave me alone, and I can even sing the Imperial Death March "

No matter how much ridicule his classmates and coworkers pile on him, Amos doesn't seem to be phased by the fact that he still lives under his folks' roof and has to live by their rules as long as he wants to continue this obsession. Statistics show that as much as 11 percent of male Star Wars Fans grow up to continue to live at the house, while only 89 percent graduate, get jobs, and find their own place to live.

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Even his mother is a little unsure of the first grader's lifestyle. "I make his meals, I do his laundry, and I kiss his boo-boos, all so he can do his Star Wars stuff," explains Mommy Sally Brendan. "He's never had a job, and he leaves messes everywhere, but Star Wars seems to be his true calling, so I guess the family is going to support him."

Despite the toll this habit has taken upon his personal life, Amos plans to continue in this cycle of boyish toy-playery. Piggy bank records show that the youngster has spent his past three allowances on Star Wars related entertainment, and his play dates have decreased dramatically due to the fact that Amos will only attend parties or gatherings with a specific Star Wars theme.

In addition, Father Nate Brendan has shown unwavering support his firstborn regardless of numerous bruised fingers and poked eyes resulting from light saber duels and Star  Fighter battles. "The rewards outweigh the pains for sure," assures Nate. "The joy it brings him to swing those hard plastic swords and throw those rigid planes truly is a gift."

At press time, Amos had no plans to move out of his parents' house. According to him, the deal is just too sweet, and he would miss his Mommy and Daddy.